Needs

I was listening to a CD I hadn't heard for a long time when I heard this song:



Collective Soul has been my favorite bad since junior high - their songs seem to have a spiritual meaning for me that I have always been able to connect with. This song has an immense value for me as it mirrors a certain point in my life.

In late 2001, I was having a real internal struggle finding my "place in the universe". My life's labors at that time were mainly failing classes at USU while I worked a minimum wage part time job at the computer lab. Life seemed to lack the savor that made it enjoyable - there was a hole in my soul that I could not seem to fill. I had dated several girls, always breaking up with them within a month after I figured out that they were definitely not "the one" for me. I was considering dropping out of school, joining the military, running away to South America - anything that would have been a big enough catalyst to give me the fire that I had lost when I had left Colombia and home.

Enter Becca - a rushing stream of water that burst the dam that was keeping my world stagnant; bringing life itself to my parched soul.

In two weeks and one day, it will have been 6 years from when we met and she's still here; the hole in my soul has been filled. She's given me a beautiful little boy and helped me to find our dreams, encouraged me to work for them, and inspired me to love our family. She's also patiently watched me fail and helped me to continue on; once she held fast to me when the shadow of death briefly passed over me and threatened to separate us much earlier than we expected.

Time lends an incredible perspective which gives greater meaning to our lives. There was a purpose in my experience before I met Becca; one must suffer misery for a time before true happiness can be appreciated.

You're all I need
When the water runs deep
You're all I need
Now I cry my soul to sleep
You're all I need...

Merry Christmas!